Redefining MommyhoodJourney of a mom whose son is overcoming hypotonia

I’ve been so happy the past couple weeks with everything new that Luke is doing. He is standing independently, taking steps, and getting into a standing position from the floor by himself! I have been really feeling like he is on the road to “normalcy” until today…

We had Mommy & Me class today and everything went well until around noon. We had just gotten done doing “Ring Around The Rosie” on the parachute, Luke was standing slightly behind me and all of the sudden, for no apparent reason, he fell over like a tree in the woods! Usually when he loses his balance while standing, he will bend his knees and fall with his hands down. Not this time. He fell flat backwards, onto the hard concrete floor that only has indoor/outdoor carpet covering it and smacked his head on the floor! Everyone heard him hit and gasped. It sounded like a bowling ball being dropped onto concrete. Luckily, it didn’t knock him out, but he was screaming and sobbing. He had a small, red spot on his head where he hit. The teacher gave us an ice pack, but he wanted nothing to do with it! She was more freaked out than I was and said that I shouldn’t let him fall asleep on the way home. I have to drive 30 minutes, so I knew he would probably fall asleep! She suggested that I take him to his pediatrician, since he is only down the street from school.

I took Luke into the doctor’s office. He checked him out and didn’t see any signs of concussion or other injury. He said as long as he didn’t go unconscious, he should be ok, but to keep a close eye on him for 24 hours. He has been his normal self today, maybe a little crankier. I’m sure his head is sore, so I gave him a little Tylenol when we got home.

I know that all kids get bumps and bruises and eventually hit their head on things, but not like this. I wouldn’t have been as worried about the overall picture if he had just fallen off of something, but he fell over for no reason. Luke still has some sort of issue with balance and depth perception. I don’t know if there is something being overlooked or if it’s just part of his developmental delays that will get better with time as he gets stronger and more coordinated.

I’m trying not to let today’s little setback get me down. Luke has been doing so well and has come so far in just the past few months:)

I’m hoping things look up for the rest of the week. Monday, Luke had his 2 year well visit with his pediatrician. He was supposed to get 3 vaccines, but I talked the doctor into only doing 2. He has been pretty flexible as far as the vaccine schedule is concerned. The rest of the appointment was the doctor basically lecturing me about how Luke is no longer a baby now that he is 2. He said that we have to start disciplining and taking away his “baby” things and habits. He also said that parents with children with “special needs” tend to baby their children longer and they end up not being productive members of society. I told him that it’s kind of hard for me, especially since 90% of the time, I have to carry Luke. I told him that I can’t just put him down in the middle of his parking lot and tell him to crawl or scoot into the building. It’s easy for a doctor to sit there and say these absurd things to a parent when they have never had to parent a child with “needs”. I hate using that term, because society automatically assumes that if you say your child has special needs, that they have some sort of mental or learning issue. Luke does not. If anything, I would be more inclined to say that he is handicapped at this point more than special needs. Ok, that was me going off on my tangent about special needs! The doctor just really rubbed me the wrong way with this whole discussion. I’m not sure if he was singling us out, or if he says the same thing to all first time parents of 2 year olds.

Today we had mommy & me class. There are only 2 more classes left in this session. The teacher gave us the registration information for the next session. All of the other kids will be able to move up to the “all by myself” class. That class is like an intro to preschool. The kids get to go for 2 hours by themselves, once a week. The teacher told us that Luke will not be able to go because he isn’t walking. There are 2 teachers doing the class with probably 7 other kids. I don’t see why one of them can’t assist Luke. I was told that we can re-do mommy and me again, but they moved it to Wednesday for the next session, which is the same day and time we do PT.

I’m just really frustrated because it seems like the world isn’t set up for children (or adults for that matter) who don’t fit inside the “normal” box. I don’t think it’s fair for Luke to be left behind. What if, God forbid, he isn’t walking in time for Kindergarten? Would he not be able to attend the “normal” classroom? It makes me so angry and sad at the same time to think that he is missing out on things. He is a very smart and happy boy otherwise.