Redefining MommyhoodJourney of a mom whose son is overcoming hypotonia

Luke and I are hosing a playdate tomorrow in our home. I don’t know why I offer to do these, since I’m such a stress case! I will probably spend 3 hours cleaning and organizing tonight just to try and make our home “perfect”, or as perfect as it can be anyway.

So far there are 5 people coming, plus their children. A couple of the moms have two kids. I know tomorrow night will be spent cleaning up from the playdate. All of this cleaning isn’t a bad thing though. Having people over gives me a good excuse to be an anal clean freak:-)

According to my mom, I was also a butt scooter like Luke. I never really crawled, but I started walking around 15 months, which is still considered late if you go by the book.

Our physical therapist mentioned one day that butt scooting is usually an indication that a person has low muscle tone. So, now I’m wondering if I maybe had it too, but not as bad as Luke. I have never been very athletic or had a lot of endurance. I managed to make it through basic training though:)

I’m just hopeful for Luke’s future. I hope that his hypotonia is something that he can overcome and eventually catch up to where he needs to be. It’s fine with me if he is never athletic, but I know this is something that would be more difficult for a boy to handle. He is already very smart, so I think he will be more studious than athletic anyway. Only time will tell us for sure.

On the occasional weekend, I get a mini-break which I like to call mommy time. Today I went and got my hair cut, then picked up lunch for the family and me.

It’s important for stay at home mommies to step out and take a break at least once a week (or more!) if they are able. It helps recharge the mommy batteries so you can go back home and keep on going.

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Becoming friends with moms with “normal” kids can be challenging. I became friends with a mom who has a child around the same age as Luke about 8 months ago. We met up for playdates and even talked about getting our husbands together one weekend. It seemed like after time went on and her child’s gross motor skills progressed on schedule, but Luke’s did not, we quit hearing from her. I’ve tried to get together with them a few times lately, but it never seems to happen. I’m a paranoid person sometimes, so of course now I’m wondering “did I do something to make her not like me, or is it because Luke can’t keep up with her child?”

It’s just sad to think that someone would be that shallow. All children deserve the chance to interact with other children their age, even if they aren’t on the same developmental level. If her child didn’t seem to be on the same cognitive level as Luke, I wouldn’t use that as a reason not to let them play together!

No mom wants to admit that their child has “special needs”, but hypotonia and gross motor delays do present their own set of special issues. Making friends is just one example.

My hubby doesn’t have a whole lot of free time to do the yard work and on top of it, he just plain doesn’t want to do it. I decided it was worth it to hire someone, especially during the hot months. The first guy did a great job, but I could never get him to show up. Two, sometimes three weeks would go by and he wouldn’t call me back. Our yard looked like one of the many foreclosures in the area. It was just unacceptable to me!

We are now on lawn guy #2. You take the good with the bad sometimes. We are on a schedule so he actually shows up, but for whatever reason, he has decided not to do the trimming around the inside of the fence or along the side of the house around the air conditioner.

I give up!!! I think the only way I’ll get it done right is to do it myself. Now I just have to figure out how Luke can help me.

I re-joined a gym a few weeks ago to try and get back in shape. They have a nice nursery where you can leave your precious little ones for up to two hours. Luke and I tried this last summer, but it didn’t turn out so well.

He was doing better this time around up until last week. He had a major meltdown to the point where he was gagging and almost threw up. One of the girls had to come pry me away from the elliptical machine 12 minutes into my workout and we ended up leaving.

Today was a little better, although the separation anxiety has returned with a vengeance. I can’t leave him in his playroom at home alone for 15 minutes so I don’t know why I thought leaving him with strangers was going to be any better. He survived (so did I, I only checked on him once through the one-way window!) and I got a good 45 minutes in today.

I think consistency is the key to success with anything, so we are going to give it another try tomorrow.

Everyone has heard the term “Supermom”. I am not one of those. What is the secret to getting everything done and being a good parent? Maybe they really don’t exist, like unicorns.

I spend all day with my son trying to make sure he is getting enough playtime, social interaction, educational activities, exercise (this includes his physical therapy), affection, the list goes on and on. I can’t seem to get anything else done during the day so by the time he goes to bed, I have about 3 hours of “chores” that need to be done. It also doesn’t help that he has separation anxiety issues, so if I leave him in his playroom for 15 minutes to clean up the kitchen, a meltdown occurs.

Maybe I’m just a perfectionist. Being a good parent is more important than being a good housekeeper anyway right? Someday I will find a balance. Until then, I need to get some sleep.

Yet another mommy myth. I love how every mom you meet always says things to you like “oh, it gets easier.” Well, that one thing you are currently struggling with may get easier, but it’s replaced by another struggle, sometimes two or more.

Why do mothers not want to share the truth? Do we forget once we are past that part of mommyhood, or do we not want to scare mommies?

I’m here to hopefully be truthful to any mommy who is brave enough to listen.

Here is another mommyhood fact. There are certain things you are no longer able to do by yourself. Here is a partial list:

-Go to the bathroom
-Take a shower, do hair etc..
-Eat a meal
-Load the dishwasher
-Exercise (which explains the sweaty morning walks)
-Housework (this could come in handy later when he can help)
-Grocery shopping