Posted by admin | Posted in Mommyhood, hypotonia | Posted on 01-12-2009
Tags: handicapped, pediatrician, school, special needs, vaccine
I’m hoping things look up for the rest of the week. Monday, Luke had his 2 year well visit with his pediatrician. He was supposed to get 3 vaccines, but I talked the doctor into only doing 2. He has been pretty flexible as far as the vaccine schedule is concerned. The rest of the appointment was the doctor basically lecturing me about how Luke is no longer a baby now that he is 2. He said that we have to start disciplining and taking away his “baby” things and habits. He also said that parents with children with “special needs” tend to baby their children longer and they end up not being productive members of society. I told him that it’s kind of hard for me, especially since 90% of the time, I have to carry Luke. I told him that I can’t just put him down in the middle of his parking lot and tell him to crawl or scoot into the building. It’s easy for a doctor to sit there and say these absurd things to a parent when they have never had to parent a child with “needs”. I hate using that term, because society automatically assumes that if you say your child has special needs, that they have some sort of mental or learning issue. Luke does not. If anything, I would be more inclined to say that he is handicapped at this point more than special needs. Ok, that was me going off on my tangent about special needs! The doctor just really rubbed me the wrong way with this whole discussion. I’m not sure if he was singling us out, or if he says the same thing to all first time parents of 2 year olds.
Today we had mommy & me class. There are only 2 more classes left in this session. The teacher gave us the registration information for the next session. All of the other kids will be able to move up to the “all by myself” class. That class is like an intro to preschool. The kids get to go for 2 hours by themselves, once a week. The teacher told us that Luke will not be able to go because he isn’t walking. There are 2 teachers doing the class with probably 7 other kids. I don’t see why one of them can’t assist Luke. I was told that we can re-do mommy and me again, but they moved it to Wednesday for the next session, which is the same day and time we do PT.
I’m just really frustrated because it seems like the world isn’t set up for children (or adults for that matter) who don’t fit inside the “normal” box. I don’t think it’s fair for Luke to be left behind. What if, God forbid, he isn’t walking in time for Kindergarten? Would he not be able to attend the “normal” classroom? It makes me so angry and sad at the same time to think that he is missing out on things. He is a very smart and happy boy otherwise.
Friggin doctors. They act so godly sometimes. I think it’s so rude for him to lecture you on the “not a baby anymore” thing… he doesn’t live in your house, he doesn’t know what you do and don’t do!
I’m sorry you’re having a crappy week – hopefully it has improved since you wrote this post!!
I so agree with M, Drs see you for like an hour out of your kids entire life & they make judgements on it. How dare he say something so insulting, nobody has the right to judge your parenting regardless of having a ‘special needs’ child or not. God it makes me angry, who do they think they are?!
Wow, people are really insensitive aren’t they? Why couldn’t they come up with another solution like adding an extra ‘minder’ to Luke’s group to help out, or even letting you stay with him if they seriously couldn’t work it out themselves, instead of making the decision for you & leaving you with no option at all. Sorry T, feeling for you.
I just nodded the through this entire post! Just a couple of weeks ago my daughter’s PT lectured me on how I can’t call her a “baby” anymore. But she will always be my baby–even at 30! I think it should be up to us.
Also, we had the SAME problem when trying to register for Kindermusik. At 18 months, my daughter would be moved into the toddler class where everyone walks. My only option was to keep her in the baby class, or move her up to a level where she would be left out. So we ended up quitting altogether.
While I wish neither of us had to experience this, it makes it easier to know someone else is experiencing the same things.
I hear you! I am ashamed to say I never thought about any of these issues with the boys-but now with Bella, these are the things that keep me awake at night. I am learning that I HATE the term “special needs”. I HATE the fact that at church (for example) Bella is still in the newborn class because she can’t sit up. UGH. Just knowing these issues will get worse…makes me sad and so protective of my little girl.
We see the neurologist again tom-since Bella’s MRI was normal (Whoo-hoo!) I know they will want to do genetic/chromosome testing….sigh. I find myself so frustrated and overwhelmed at times…I want to be Bella’s advocate and make the best possible decisions for her…but often feel as though I have no idea what I’m doing on this journey.
Sorry for the long comment! All this to say thanks for sharing your thoughts and your journey! It helps me to know I’m not the only one…I hope your week (and month) is going better.